Veteran Memorials

My son’s school did some community service work at the Dubuque Arboretum.  They have a Veteran’s Memorial there.  For whatever reason, his classmates started spitting on it. They thought it was funny; we don’t know why.

My son had the nerve to say “what the HELL are you doing?”

He got in trouble for saying hell.  Nothing happened to those who spit on the memorial.

This is what matters in Dubuque. This is how life has been at Washington all year.  My son said “hell”, and that was a bad thing. Spitting is ok, even if it is on a memorial for all veterans from Dubuque. 

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Evil Kindles

My son finishes work early.  He has a para that takes him out to the library when he’s done, so as to not disturb the class.  He spends a lot of time there.

He has a Kindle, so he has plenty to read at all times. The school itself (Washington Middle School in Dubuque) has kindles to loan out to students, too.  

His para, for whatever reason, thinks that Kindles are a disgrace.  She first banned him from reading whatever he wanted on it, even though he reads adult science books, and Greek classics.  He could only read what was assigned in school.

Then she decided that was unacceptable.  On Friday, she ripped it out of his hands, went to the shelves, found the book he was reading, and threw it down in front of him.  For whatever reason, she would not allow him to read it on the Kindle.

It is bad enough they wouldn’t put him in gifted classes because he has a learning disability (dysgraphia, cannot write legibly), but now to discourage reading advanced books, and only read school books on paper? What is wrong with this place?

We’re taking him out of school after this year, and using the virtual public school until we move out of Dubuque. When you have staff acting against the child’s best interests, you need to pull your child out.  This is just the latest in a string of incidents with this woman, and it’s the last straw.

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Cooking Italian in Dubuque

So, here in Dubuque, IA, they think Italian means Olive Garden and pizza and red sauce and lasagne.  I thought I’d share for some readers the simple thing I made for dinner tonight. I even ‘cheated’, and used some processed food, although you can do the dough part on your own, if so inclined.

I took sausage meat, Italian sausage meat, not in the casings. Just the fillings. You can take it out of the casing, buy it like that at some stores, or leave it in but make small circles of the sausage when raw.  I sauteed it in a bit of olive oil and garlic, and then added some peppers and onions. I cooked everything until the veggies were wilted.

Then I took some pizza dough from the refrigerator section of the supermarket.  In Brooklyn, some people just go to the local pizza place and buy some pizza dough. Some bakeries might sell dough. There’s frozen dough. Or, if you are a better woman than I am, you can make your own. Whatever works.

I then made some nice sized rectangles, (when you read this through you will be able to judge how big you want them) and put some of the sausage and pepper in the middle. I rolled it/wrapped it up, tossed some olive oil on it, sprinkled some sesame seeds on top, and stuck them in the 400 degree oven, because that’s what it said on the tube of dough.  When it’s brown, I’ll take them out.  They’re a bit bigger than a hot pocket, but more of an egg roll shape. 

So it’s not some sort of fancy authentic I-got-the-recipe-from-my-Nonna thing, it’s just something I enjoyed getting from the pizzaria by the McDonald Avenue L in Brooklyn.  But it’s not pork chops, or cheesy potatoes, or meatloaf, or whatever regular stuff people eat around here. It’s a little taste of home, nothing more.

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The Honeymoon is Over

I no longer think that Dubuque is a good place to raise a family. In fact, if you have a child with a disability, you may be better off elsewhere.  It’s not bad, and better than what we would have had in New York City, but I’ve been looking around and there seem to be better places.  Madison, WI is one place we’re looking at, and if it wasn’t for Walker, it would be close to perfect.

But the bloom is off the rose, and Dubuque, which once seemed a very grounded and open place, has turned to the usual bad habits of many cities.  The politicians are inaccessible, the police are unethical, and the laws are now going from protecting citizens to generating money off of them. Schools get cut, but special pet projects do not.  Small businesses suffer at the hands of larger ones. They found a way to get rid of undesirable “people from Chicago” (code word for black) legally.  Discrimination is almost as rampant as apathy and ignorance.  There are few people with strong convictions here, and it shows.

I want to fight for a community that fights with me, for me, alongside me. I’ll be the best thing that ever happened!  

We still have to ride it out more than a year, since we do want our daughter to graduate from the local high school. It would be foolish to pull her out now.  But if we can figure out how to make it work, we need to go to a good city, one that is family friendly.

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iPad

We finally got Ted an iPad, primarily for use as an AAC device, but we knew there were other apps out there that might be useful.  We’ve found autism related apps, educational apps, some really fun apps for rewards, and lots of communication apps.  We also found a fantastic case for it, too!

It’s a shame that insurance does not cover these. An AAC device starts at around 3k.  An iPad with a good case, good AAC software, and some other apps? About 1k.  But the insurance would rather pay 3k and up, because those devices are for communication only.  Heaven forbid someone has something that can be used for things other than the intended purpose. They’d rather throw money away. No wonder premiums are so high.  Insurance companies will not use common sense when it comes to deciding what to pay, and what not to pay.

I hope to be reviewing some of the apps we’re using.  The whole experience is a real game changer. It’s made an impressive difference in my son’s life.

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Top 10 snappy answers to annoying comments about autism | Autism Support Network

If you’re a parent with a child on the spectrum, you’ve probably responded to the same annoying remarks and questions a thousand times. Here’s a handy list of responses that…you’ll probably never use out loud (but are fun to imagine using)!

via Top 10 snappy answers to annoying comments about autism | Autism Support Network.

I need to memorize these…

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Car Break-In

Earlier this week I woke up to my driver’s side window smashed in (by a spark plug, apparently a common way of breaking car windows quietly and quickly).  My GPS, which I normally take in every night, was stolen.  I was supposed to go out for one more drive, but Ted wanted to walk, instead, and after the walk I put him to bed and forgot about the GPS. (And my backpack AND my radio.)

I have an idea who did it — waiting for the police to finish their investigation.  There was one person who rode in my car, who knew all about it, who was curious about it, and the first day it is left in, it’s gone. A family that always asks for money and items.  Who knew too much about other things. Most importantly, I was woken up twice by noise from their door that night — they claim no one was up and about.  A bunch of other thoughts too, but for now, there is nothing I can do.

The police who responded, and the investigators I spoke to later on in the day, were absolutely brilliant.  They made something scary and upsetting, bearable.  I didn’t expect so much attention and concern, it was a pleasant suprise.

Dealing with Progressive was pleasant too, although my deductible is rather high, and I wound up paying out of pocket. But they found me a local division of Safelite, which is prompt, affordable, and on site.  The GPS was not covered, though, as it wasn’t a permanent part of the car. (That’s being taken care of though, at least.)

I am very disappointed that this happened in a place I moved to that I went in with bright expectations about safety.  I let my guard down a little bit.  I should have known better. What bothers me the most, though, is I’ve done a bit to help this family out, and support them in ways I could, and it felt like “no good deed goes unpunished”.  Plus they knew that I wasn’t rolling in cash.  That I couldn’t help them too much because I had my own tight budget to adhere to.

However, given the outpouring of support from family, friends, and community, if this is my punishment, keep it coming.  Although I am still rattled, and this hit me at a time where I really didn’t need to get a (financial) hit, in ways I’m better off than I was before it happened. I found support and caring from places I didn’t expect it, and had other parts of my network re-affirm how wonderful they really are.

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Riding the Short Bus

They changed the pick up point for my youngest; he now gets picked up in front of the house, not across the street.  So today I got to see him as the bus pulled away.  He looked at me briefly as they buckled him in, and then looked straight ahead. The thing about a non verbal kid is it is harder to know what they are thinking — as if people weren’t vague enough about their thoughts.  I wondered what he thinks about school. I know he seems to enjoy going.  Does he have any idea at all what the purpose is?  I’m really not sure, and leaning towards “no”. Every year the local newspaper, the Telegraph Herald asks the incoming kindergarten students what they want to be when they grow up.  There are all sorts of answers. Ballerinas and cowboys and doctors and singers and dancers and mechanics and truck drivers and babysitters andteachers and astronauts and anything a little kid can imagine. I wonder what my son would answer, if he could.  I know what I would want him to answer.  Independent. And that is what life is like with a kid like mine. Your dreams change. Your expectations are in a sense lowered. (But raised because you are aware of how hard each task is.)  When nothing but the finest schools and a doctorate in their chosen profession is just about shot down in flames when the prognosis is “I don’t know” for so many issues.  It’s not so bad, really.  Still, days like today, independence seems like such a great dream, but the thought that even independence may not be possible? That’s what can really hurt. By the way, his bus isn’t short, but it is chock full of kids who may face the same future as my son. Some more independent than others.  Think about that the next time you make a ‘short bus’ joke. About the parents that put their kids on that bus, and take them off the bus, if you don’t have the decency to think about the children because you think of them as less than human.  Think about me.

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This is working out well

Well, I picked up some extra roma tomatoes, some garlic from the garlic stand, and some local honey (yes honey) for my tomato sauce.  I managed to somehow get the ‘tomato machine’ working.   The sauce has been cooking for about 8 hours, at least, and I will be slow cooking it even more.  I’m hoping to get 8 quarts or so out of it.  (In pint jars.)

It brought back so many memories!  I’m glad I can do out here in Dubuque what I used to do as a kid in Brooklyn.  I hope it turns out nice, I want to ship it out to my family all over.  If it works out, I’ll be doing this all over again either next weekend or the weekend after.  Maybe even both, with the way it smells and tastes so far!

And somewhere in the middle, I’ll be attempting jelly for the first time.  Mountain Dew jelly.  Can’t stand the stuff (Mountain Dew) but it is a novel idea, and I know some people who will get a kick out of it, so if it works out, I’ll send it their way.

I’d just freeze the sauce like we used to when I was younger, but I really want to share the sauce with family and friends.  I miss them, being out here in Dubuque, this is a good way to connect with them, and connect with the family I left behind by carrying on traditions.  (Including insisting my son help, and then telling him, “no no no” and doing it myself, and then insisting he helps again.)

I did just notice I’ve got one heck of an ache in my shoulder. Cranking that tomato squeezer takes a lot out of you!  I can imagine my next visit to Dr. Besler (my chiropractor). “What did you do to it? Wore your textbooks on one side again?” “No, cranking out tomato sauce. Literally.”  The man is a miracle worker, though, so I’m not worried.  Some Ben-Gay, until then.

Oh and besides the above ingredients, I have some wine in it, olive oil, and a lot of the basil from my garden.  I had a basil BUSH, just about. I’ve got to start freezing it, like mom suggested.

I’m mostly glad to send it out to Dan, who will be working for a while at Lincoln Center, it looks like. We’ll know this week, I think. At least he’ll have something home cooked when he’s out of town.

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Grand Harbor Water Park

I love playing tourist in my own city.  I loved it when we lived in Brooklyn, I missed out on doing it when I lived in London and Frankfurt, and I love doing it here.

Yesterday my mom (the tourist) and I took the kids to the water park.  As always, it was an absolute dream going there. We made sure we picked up the discount ad from the DBQ Kids booklet ($8 during the week, $12 for a weekend) and went.

Everything was great. I am especially impressed with the people that work there. The lifeguards are both conscientious and fair.  They do something you don’t see at the city pools. They use their judgment.  They’re not constantly blowing their whistles at simple things, but are quick (but respectful) to step in when something is heading the wrong way.  You have no idea how this makes for an enjoyable experience. Bad lifeguards can really ruin your day. (They also didn’t spend the entire time acting like it was a cocktail party.)

My youngest, who has been terrified of pools in the past, had a blast. He’s been going to the city pools with us (a mix of dangerous and annoying, my kids got hurt there more than once) and went to the pool at my parent’s hotel.  So he was pretty happy at the water park.  When they tried to talk to him because he was in the way on the slide (lifeguards are quicker than I am slogging through water) they were very understanding when I said he can’t talk.  He got off, and they were nice (that was something they had to repeat to the little ones quite a bit).

We all enjoyed the whirlpool, the lazy river, the basketball, and I even went on one of the three water slides. The one with the tubes is the one I went on, and I had NO IDEA it was pitch black inside! Very fast and very fun and just a little scary.

I was even happy with the water temps.  Even the food and the people who worked there made us happy.

We’ll probably have a party for my daughter here AGAIN since it is such an enjoyable place. It’s a shame they had no available rooms when my parents checked, but it is close enough that we can go.

I heard they had yearly passes, and after we wasted our money on the city pool passes, I think we’ll check it out. I heard it was expensive, but it would be  worth it. I feel safe there, we have fun there, and it is close.  What more could you want?

I’ve yet to hear a bad thing about that place.  There’s a good reason for that.

Oh, and I forgot to add, they had SO MUCH FUN, they didn’t even ask for money for the game room. We only gave them money so they’d have something to do after we got dressed, and before my dad picked us up.

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